Today I was selfish.
Darryl was defrosting steaks for dinner but I was planning on going to the gym when I got home from work since I didn’t go this morning. This is my first day easing back into exercise and I didn’t want to let myself down. So I told Darryl that when I got home from work at 7:00 I was going to change and go to the gym for a half hour. I told him that he could eat his steak without me or he could wait. In the past I would have probably said “Well, I shouldn’t make Darryl wait to eat so I’ll just eat when I get home from work and skip the gym.” I need to be selfish if I want my weight loss journey to work. I need to think about my needs and my goals in order to keep myself on track.
I thought about starting “Couch to 5K” today but I decided that I need to get myself back into some kind of workout routine/some kind of better shape before I start tackling all that running. Even when I was thin I despised running, so I think jumping right into it [even though I should theoretically be able to jump in since it’s called couch to 5k] would be a bad idea. I need to let my body adjust to the extra activity and motivate myself to hit the gym before I think about starting a program. I guess I just don’t want to ‘fail,’ so I will wait to start. We’ll see what working out does for my WI on Sunday and then I will decide if I should start C25K next Monday.
I started following a few new blogs today and gained a few followers myself. While I am happy that there are so many people who are dedicated to making a change in their lives and who are on the road to healthy weight-loss, I was astounded by the number of blogs dedicated to, seemingly, anorexia. Girls that are completely obsessed with bone-thin pictures and dedicating their lives to becoming bone thin. Now, I am not a psychologist and I don’t know the circumstances surrounding anyone else’s weight loss journey except for my own, but I feel like the point where a diet turns into an obsession and then from an obsession into a disease is a thin line that way too many people are crossing. It’s scary that much of this obsession likely has to do with the media image that is presented to us…but that’s a whole other topic that I’m not ready to breach.
I’m not trying to be mean or trying to dictate what other people should do, but I am legitimately sad and scared for all the girls and women who are so obsessed with becoming rail thin that they will do literally anything to get there. I have a close family friend who “suffered” [I use the quotes because, technically, she will always be battling this disease] from anorexia and she nearly died. I know I can’t prevent it, but I don’t like the thought of anyone else going through that.
Ok, I’ll step off my soap box now.
I think I am going to start tracking my measurements along with my weight loss so that I can [hopefully] see the inches change even if the scale is slow moving. I think I will start tonight and then measure every two weeks. I think I will also take a photo before measuring every week and keep that for my own personal visual reference of my shrinking body. I will try to wear the same outfit in every photo so I can see how the clothes begin to fit differently. Maybe one day, when my WLJ is nearing completion, I will post the pictures for others to see. Now this is another goal for me: be thin enough to show the world what I used to look like and how my body has changed. Ready, GO!
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